Catching Up and Happy 2010!

Oh my poor, poor blog. I’ve neglected you since my son started Kindergarten and my family became a Petri dish for all communicable flues and diseases. Good news- we’ve all been healthy the past month. (Knocking on particle board as I write.)

But I love deadlines, and to jump-start the year, I’m excited to be taking an online class with Lisa Romeo on writing creative non-fiction.

In case you’ve been wondering what I’ve been up to since fall, here are a few highlights:

August 20:

Cried the entire day my son went to Kindergarten. He thankfully did much better than me. My friend’s son just started college. “Just you wait,” she joked. I now feel guilty about “stealing” my husband away from his family in Sweden. My dear in-laws, please forgive me.

September:

A blur of flues, strep, coughs, and sleepless nights in our house. Thanks to all my family members who drove or walked my kids to school when I was too ill to do so. I was thankfully well enough to perform in the Mama Monologues with our guest author Ayelet Waldman, who wrote Bad Mother and The Mommy Track Mysteries. She was honest, funny, and touching. And I also got to get away for a wonderful weekend of writing and fun conversations in Lake Tahoe at the Write by the Lake Retreat with Jennifer Sander, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Getting Published and some fifty other titles.

October:

I wrote an article in Bay Area Parent on Dr. Jennifer Gunter, an OB-Gyn and mother whose touching story includes the loss of one of her triplets. She’s turned pain into publication, and has a book coming out this year, titled The Preemie Primer.

November:

One of the highlights of my writing career, OK, my life, was this past November when I performed at the Mama Monologues fundraiser with Anne Lamott as our guest author. She was amazing, generous, inspiring, and hilarious. The San Francisco Chronicle wrote about it, and I was honored to have my piece mentioned!

December:

My Winter Solstice article was re-published in New York Spirit Magazine, and a personal essay on a roadside memorial was published in the Marin IJ.

Now it’s 2010, how did that happen?

Wishing you all a wonderful start to the new year!

Peace Day

During the last semester of my master's at USC, one of the projects I worked on as a teacher's assistant was to set up a Roots and Shoots program at an elementary school in East Los Angeles, something the teacher continued afterward. Roots and Shoots is an organization started by Jane Goodall that focuses on teaching children to care for our earth, its people and its animals. At the end of the semester, Jane Goodall happened to visit L.A., and we traveled with the class to see her speak at the zoo, where she commended the L.A. zoo for their humane living area for the chimpanzees.

Fast forward 11 years, and I'm writing an article on the International Day of Peace for Whole Life Times. I was delighted to find out that Roots and Shoots has been having Peace Day celebrations in L.A. for years now, and this year they are expecting over 5,000 people!

Here is the link to the article:
http://www.sopdigitaledition.com/wholelifetimes/#/24/

I think I'm going to throw a Peace Day party for September 21st, something recommended by one of the people I interviewed. Anyone else have plans for that day?

Gluten Free Writing

The great thing about writing is that you get to take life's challenges, and turn them into opportunities for assignments! My article "Gluten Free Dining in the Bay Area" in June's Parents' Press newspaper is an example of this. Having a son who is gluten free, I've become a reluctant expert on where to dine without wheat. But I also learned a lot about Celiac disease as I researched this article, so it added to my conversation today with my son's doctor at his yearly physical.

So now we get to decide if we want an official Celiac diagnosis, which would mean putting him back on gluten, having a blood test, and possibly an endoscopy, and if in fact he does have Celiac disease, or is just gluten intolerant, we would just end up back where we are now- avoiding gluten. I'm not sure if it's worth all that, but we'll see.

For now, I'm just grateful for all the food options we have that are gluten free.

Mama Monologues this Saturday

I'll be doing a reading in this year's Mama Monologues. It will be a fun night of short essays and blogs being read by the Writing Mamas to help support Alanna DeSalvo, a Novato teen who had a pool accident and now is in a wheelchair.

Event information:
The Mama Monologues - "Mother's Day Night Out!"

Saturday, May 9, 2009

6 - 9 p.m.

Unity in Marin, 600 Palm Drive (Hamilton Center), Novato

$20 Per Person Donation ($30 per couple) includes yummy Writing Mamas-made food, savory and sweet, along with the best kind of whine -- wine, wine, wine!!!!!!

Mothers' Night Out! You're a goddess. A queen. This is your night to leave the kids at home, go out and enjoy some well-deserved laughs. The Writing Mamas will perform their popular "Mama Monologues," a high-energy, LOL performance of their blogs and essays about REAL MOTHERHOOD. Spouses and friends are welcome!

Profits from the event will help benefit the Alanna DeSalvo Recovery Project (www.alannadesalvo.org) to pay for rehabilitation bills not covered by insurance for this Novato teen who suffered a spinal cord injury and is now paralyzed.

Directions: Heading north on 101, take the Hamilton Field/Nave Dr. Exit, veering Right onto Nave Drive. Turn Right on Main Gate Road, continue Left on Palm Dr. Unity is on the left, with parking lots on either side.
Heading south on 101, take the Bel Marin Keyes Blvd/Hamilton Field exit onto Ignacio Blvd. toward Bel Marin Keys/Hamilton Field. Right on Nave Drive. Left on Main Gate Road, continue Left on Palm Dr. Unity is on the left.

The Writing Mamas Salon is a warm, encouraging and supportive place for members to talk about motherhood and writinghood and to have a neighborhood in which to do both. There is much laughter and friendship. It's the ultimate mothers' club, and this is the ultimate evening for mothers to come out, enjoy themselves and have fun. Mothers -- you deserve it!!! For further information go to www.writingmamas.com or contact Dawn Yun, 415.233.2483, or dawnyun@writingmamas.com.

Warming Up

It’s time to write. To schedule interviews. To work on my book proposal. The kids are in preschool, though I’ll be picking them up early since Lucas is getting over a cold. But I still have 2 hours to work.

So I check my e-mail.

Nothing is urgent there, so I have no excuse to linger.

I decide I must check Facebook and become a fan of Seventh Generation and Oprah. I read others’ status updates. I update my own about how my son convinced me to buy fluorescent blue-colored Peeps. But even Facebook, which can usually suck hours only takes a few minutes today. What’s going on?

I call my husband. I’d spoken with his mom the day before, and I’d forgotten to tell him that they can’t see the Disneyland pictures on their digital picture frame, and something else that can’t wait until he gets home tonight. What was it? Oh yeah, LegoLand in Denmark is open all days of the week in May when we’ll be visiting.

My husband, the efficient engineer who rarely procrastinates is working, so he says “OK” as I share each piece of information. The whole conversation takes 50 seconds, timed by my phone.

I sigh, none of my normal stalling techniques are working today.

Maybe I’ll write a blog.

Author Kelly Corrigan

My favorite authors are those that invite you into their lives to become one of their family members, friends, or loved ones for the duration of the book. Kelly Corrigan is one of these authors. I had the pleasure of hearing her speak at Book Passage today. She is even funnier, smarter, and wittier in person, with her book The Middle Place having already set a very high standard.

Because her book magically weaves tales of cancer, being a parent while also having parents, and lots of humor, she had us all crying and laughing. The majority female audience continued to grow as she spoke. At one point I counted ninety people or so, but more kept arriving (and staying.)

She asked those who have had or currently have cancer to stand so we could support them, and at least fifteen people stood. One was a woman, thirty years old or so, sitting in front of me with a knit black hat covering her bare head. All I had to do was see her wiping tears, and then I was done for.

When Kelly read, she kept interrupting herself to tell us back stories, or follow-ups, which were just as hilarious or touching as the material she was reading. It was like getting the director’s commentary on a movie.

But overall, from hearing her talk and reading her book, what I came away with is the optimism that she shares with her father. It’s contagious, and you come away wanting to be a better person. “I’m so lucky,” she says, and you can’t help but believe her.

I feel that anyone who is a parent, has parents, grew up Catholic (or Irish-American), has been touched by cancer, or even knows someone who is any of these things will find themselves relating to and laughing at her self-effacing stories. I limited myself to buying only three additional copies for friends.

To see her touching video that has become viral (in a good way) click here.

I've been on a blogging strike lately. No lofty cause, I've just been busy with being a mom and work. (I can call writing work, right?)

I'm excited for the new year, a new president, and the fact that we have officially graduated out of diapers - at least during the day.

I've had two essays published the past month, so here they are!

"Hello, My Name Is..." February 2009 Common Ground/Whole Life Times Magazines

"Circus Tears and Triumphs" January 2009 Mothering.com

I wish you a wonderful start to February!

"P" Words

I’m happy to share that an article I wrote, "Good Day Sunshine" is in this month’s Common Ground magazine. It's about celebrating the Winter Solstice and was a fun topic to research and write about.

When I was working on it though, the fates seemed to be playing with me.

I summarize with the following “P” words:

Procrastination- I was determined to not do this, I wanted to get it done early. My plan, another “P” word, was to submit it to the editor an impressive week ahead of the due date since I already had some of the interviews completed. Thankfully I started early because,

Pinkeye- took hold of our family two weeks before the article was due. That meant laundry, laundry, and more laundry to try to avoid its spread, though spread it did anyway. It also meant both boys were home from school, but on different days as my eldest got it first, then my youngest. So the precious time I had planned to write was suddenly lost. And then of course, I caught it as well!

Potty Training- my youngest decided he was suddenly ready to enter the world of big boy underwear. No more diapers, only colorful briefs with fire trucks or comic heroes would do. We praised him of course, and it worked out since he was home sick and we could run to the potty at any time. But did I mention laundry? I think we’re up to twelve loads (no joke) by this time. Of course other "P" words apply under this topic as well.

Panic- Since a solid stretch of writing wasn't happening during the day, I sat down at the computer at 10:30 p.m., my official muse time. No sooner had my fingers hit the keyboard to put the finishing touches on the article, when my youngest cried out in pain, “Mama, my ear hurts!” Of course he wanted me to be with him, and I wanted to be there. So there I lay, and ultimately slept, asking the gods to help me get my article done the next day.

Publication- in the end I did get it done. Not a week early as I’d planned, but on the contracted date nonetheless. Having a plan to finish early was probably the best thing I could have done.

It was certainly a humbling experience to not have time I could count on, and I'm grateful for my husband who helped during the evenings and weekends so I could escape. But having a challenging time to create this piece ultimately made the final product that much more dear. (Analogy to parenting and childbirth anyone?)

So, back to the topic, do you have plans to celebrate the Winter Solstice?

"Once" again...

Two weeks ago I read at the Lit Crawl part of Litquake, San Francisco's literary festival. It was a fun and challenging experience as I had never performed in a bar before. The room was dark with little light for reading (luckily someone had brought a flashlight), the microphone had some issues, and the organizers were stressed because it had started late, and therefore the ones at the end (me included) were running over. But the audience of about 100 people were great, and clapped for us all. I feel I can read anywhere now!

Afterwards a bunch of us Writing Mamas went out for dinner and stayed until the restaurant closed. I rarely get to the city these days, so it was a fun night.

Below is what I read. It's the "Once" piece I posted earlier, but with some new material.

Happy November!

- Kristy


"Once"

My sister recommended the movie “Once.”

It took my husband and me about three months to see it, meanwhile paying Netflix for the privilege of having it sit atop our television. When we finally saw it, I was struck by the movie’s simplicity.

It’s about an aspiring musician with a broken heart trying to start a music career, and a Czech immigrant making her way in Ireland. What touched me were how these two people, who had so little monetarily, were truly living their lives and pursuing their dreams in a simple, yet profound way.

It made me think about how much I have, and how I should try to live life fully in the now, instead of waiting for more. I often think, mostly unconsciously,

ONCE my kids grow up;
ONCE we win the lottery;
ONCE I get paid for doing what I love;
ONCE I have a successful book published;
ONCE I appear on Oprah;
ONCE we live abroad for a year --

THEN, I’ll be happy.

Not so long ago, I wanted to graduate from college, travel, get a job, find love, get married, and have children. I have done all of these things, yet, the credits never rolled with a moving soundtrack in the background when I got what I thought I wanted most.

I always find new things to covet.

I think it’s part of the human experience to yearn for more. As I start to feel the hunger pains for a future different than my present, I pause.

I try to notice one thing that I’m enjoying now.

As I was trying to write the other day, my four year old called out to me from the bathroom. He needed me to wipe. Not necessarily my favorite activity of motherhood, but part of the occupation nonetheless. I was trying to finish my thought, but after his third call, I rushed into the bathroom, feeling a little guilty. He sat there, perched on the toilet with both arms supporting him so he wouldn’t fall in. He looked at me, and said out of the blue, “You’re going to be mine forever and ever.”

That was a nice moment. I try to take these times in, they disappear so quickly.

Perhaps one day I will find contentment in the present; aware that everything I have is already a gift.

THEN, I’ll be happy.

Top 10 Signs You Need to Attend Book-Buying Anonymous (BBA)

10. Every time you see an author talk, you promise yourself you will not buy their book. Even if the book is about worm cultivation in Zimbabwe, you walk away with a signed book.

9. When life finds you down, you turn to book buying. (Note: this is different than book reading, which you have little time for.) But who can resist buying Money, and the Law of Attraction on a day when the stock market dips over 700 points?

8. You borrow books on CD from the library, but then buy the same books in print so you can highlight your favorite quotes. Example: Anne Lamott’s Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith.

7. You promise yourself to use the library more, but can’t wait for others to get their fix before getting yours.

6. You spread out your book purchases between different stores so that there is not an obvious large charge on the credit card to alert your spouse.

5. Sometimes you pay cash to reduce the paper trail even further.

4. You confess your addiction to the people working at bookstores as you know their answer will be an enabling message of, “There could be worse addictions,” or “I have the same one, that’s why I work here!”

3. You refuse to do the math of how long it would take to actually read all the unread books you own. (In recovery terminology, this is called Denial with a capital “D.”)

2. When your mom comes to visit, she firmly tells you that you can’t buy any more books until you have more bookcases.

1. You buy more bookcases.


* Disclaimer: this blog was written hypothetically. This in no way resembles me, my family, or anyone I’ve ever known. The local chapter of BBA meets Sunday evenings in the multi-purpose room of the All Saints Lutheran Church. Bring cookies.

Lit Crawl 2008

I'm happy to announce that I will be reading a piece of mine (an edited and spruced-up version of "Once") at the Lit Crawl portion of Litquake, San Francisco’s literary festival. You can visit the website here: http://www.litquake.org/the-festival/lit-crawl-2008/

Our talk is going to be at the Beauty Bar, 2299 Mission Street and is titled, “Mommies With Brains: Literary Mama and Writing Mamas.” Please note that is their title, I did not name it! My title may have been, “Mommies who have lost their brains, but are optimistic of someday finding them through writing…” But they didn’t ask me.

My piece will be 2 minutes, or as my father-in-law pointed out, 120 seconds. I like the latter.

So, if you are hanging out in the Mission (and who doesn’t on a Saturday night?) on October 11th and want to say hello, please do!

Once

My sister recommended the movie “Once.”

It took my husband and me about three months to see it, meanwhile paying Netflix for the privilege of having it sit atop our television. When we finally took the time to see it, I was struck by the movie’s simplicity.

It’s about an aspiring musician with a broken heart trying to start a music career, and a Czech immigrant making her way in Ireland. What touched me were how these two people, who had so little monetarily, were truly living their lives and pursuing their dreams in a simple, yet profound way.

It made me think about how much I have, and how I should try to live life fully in the now, instead of waiting for more. I often think, mostly unconsciously,

ONCE

My kids grow up;

We win the lottery;

I have a successful book published;

I appear on Oprah;

We live abroad for a year --

THEN,I’ll be happy.

I wait for these things today.

Not so long ago, I wanted to find love, get married, have children, and buy a house. I have all of that now, yet, the credits never rolled along with a moving soundtrack in the background when I got what I thought I wanted most.

I always find new things to covet.

I think it’s part of the human experience to yearn for more. As I start to feel the hunger pains for a future different than my present, I pause.

I try to notice one thing that I’m enjoying now. Today, it was my boys jumping and splashing in the little blow-up pool in our backyard. Yesterday, it was my youngest son “stealing” strawberries off the counter faster than I could cut them up.

I continue to have an insatiable craving for something new, different, more, than what I already have.

Perhaps one day I will find happiness and contentment in the present; aware that everything I have is already a gift.

Writing Mama Dilemma

It’s 10:30 p.m., and inspiration hits. Stories flow into my head, and I can see and hear how they are to be written. The dilemma: do I write when inspired, or do I go to sleep in an attempt to get eight hours like I’d promised myself I would try for one week. Yesterday I went to bed early and my day was definitely better because of it. My two Energizer bunny sons do not yet have snooze buttons, at least that I’ve been able to find.

I’ll choose sleep this time. Maybe I can train myself to be inspired during the day when I’m at home, ready to write.

(1 hour later…)

Scratch that. I tried to just write a few notes to remember what had inspired me, and an hour later I’m finishing up. Writing won out this time. I’m happy with what I wrote. It’s about my not-so-smooth (forgive the pun) introductions to love and sex. No more about that, gotta wait for my book for those words.

Or one and a half margaritas and a designated driver.

(Photo by Mats.)

Olympic Influence

OK, it’s been 2 days without Häagen-Dazs ice cream. And I exercised again. Yep, that’s right, it’s the Olympics. Seeing these athletes who have worked so hard, and sacrificed so much seems to have subliminally inspired me to remove my butt from the seated position. So far the stories of the athletes’ workouts have not shown them sitting on a couch eating ice cream. Although I bet they’ll do that after the Olympics. I would.

But it seems I’m not the only one influenced. The pool that I take the kids to for swim lessons was packed on Tuesday. All the members (we’re visitors) were talking about how it was the busiest they’ve ever seen. I bet Michael Phelps is the reason.

So my journey to the prize continues. Some are working towards gold. I’m working towards my jeans not cutting off the circulation in my middle area. You gotta have goals…

P.S. This freelance writing thing isn’t easy. I keep sending stuff out, but sometimes it’s hard to keep motivated. Just thought I’d let you all know.

P.P.S. Due to the above sentence, I just treated myself to a few bites of Häagen-Dazs. I bet there are a lot of athletes out there that didn’t make it to the Olympics that are doing the same thing. This one’s for them.